An Albanian Wedding

When word spread through the grapevine that I was off to visit Albania, a friend of mine attempted, with some success, to spread the rumor that I was on a wife hunt in Eastern Europe.  So far, it's been quite the opposite -- all of Albania seems to be husband hunting.  My first suitor emerged within 24 hours of landing, and it's been a non-stop parade ever since.

One of the first questions I'm asked after being introduced is: "Are you married?". Is this question asked of everybody, or am I right to assume that it's mostly because I'm so devilishly handsome? A few people stop to inquire why I'm not married, but most simply assume that this is a terrible state of affairs and proceed immediately to assuring me not to worry,  they're going to find me an Albanian wife. I'm never sure whether they're truly being helpful, or simply looking for an easy visa for their cousin. Which is all to say that I'm glad to have had the opportunity to attend an Albanian wedding and see what sort of an experience I'd be in for if any of them happen to have a particularly gorgeous niece.

It wasn't a village wedding, but since my friend was a member of the groom's family I had an excellent seat at the front among the family and near the dancing.  Before that, however, we visit the house of the groom's parents to offer our congratulations.  We're offered a cigarette by the groom's father, a bag of candy, and a girl (perhaps the groom's sister?) serves us lokum and a glass of excellent raki.  We place money on a tray -- no cards or envelops required -- and head outside to visit while others take our place inside the house before we all head to the restaurant.

The restaurant is full -- considerably more people than were at the house.  Is it only the groom's family that visits the house first? Do only the people who visit the house offer gifts, or do the bride's family do the same with her parents?  And where do friends fit into this?

The bride and groom arrive to fireworks with the wedding party, which consists mostly of the groom's immediate family and several others whose role seems undefined.  Was there a private church or civil ceremony beforehand?  When are the marriage documents signed -- or is a lot of horn-honking as they pick the bride up all that's legally required? (I hate Sundays.)

Dinner is the opposite of a Canadian wedding: The quality of the food is excellent, and they keep bringing out more and just piling it on top of one's plate, but it's stone cold every time. Fortunately the beer is as well, and the waiters keep walking around with bottles in hand to make sure no one is ever without. I discover that Glina Exotic tastes terrible, and a video camera keeps making constant rounds for people to shout congratulations while I manage to raise my glass and join in the mostly-incomprehensible yelling.

The dancing starts immediately, with what looks to me like a prearranged (perhaps traditional?) ordering of songs and the roles played by each family member joining in by turn.  The music is ridiculously, unbearably, unbelievably insanely loud.  Talking is absolutely impossible. Everyone looks like they know every song by heart, but the only words I can pick out seem to indicate a lot of singing about raki and Tepelene.  The girl who leads the dancing keeps changing her dress, and I'm not sure why -- the first one was the prettiest anyway.

The bride and groom seem mostly bored. With the exception of when everyone dances over to their table and they stand and clap, they look to be having the least fun of everyone there.  The groom's immediate family is busy either leading the dances (girls), or running around delivering cigarettes (boys). With the exception of making a round thanking everyone for coming and receiving congratulations, the groom's parents seem to have played their part already at the house.  I couldn't tell if the bride's parents were even there.  The girl who was serving the raki at the house isn't seated with the family members, but seems to always take the second lead in the dances.

At some point some signal was given for anyone to join into the dancing, but I'm not sure what it was, maybe a certain song?  And then the bride's family was dancing, and I'm not sure if they were allowed to dance with everyone before or if it's their special turn (a certain song again?). And then the bride's family says goodbye (I thought the wedding was done, silly me), but her friends appear to stay, or perhaps the friends were only the groom's friends in the first place?  And then the real party starts... Dancing becomes more energetic (surprisingly with little time between for alcoholic consumption), and the bride and groom have the time of their lives.  Chairs are stood on, money is thrown on the bride's head, and a cake is cut (more fireworks), though not served. With two-thirds of the people gone, and the rest dancing with no sign of stopping as the DJ starts playing Western songs, the wait staff start clearing the tables and we head home "early" at 3am. Apparently they'll keep dancing past sunrise.  Crazy, happy Albanians.

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I'm in Sarande at the moment, with a trip to Tirana's bloku still to go before heading home.  Any suggestions of places to visit (preferably local hotspots rather than tourist traps or museums)?

87 Komente

You should have tried to dance at the wedding, if you didn't, the traditional Albanian dances I mean. smiley

Also, you should tell us what a Canadian wedding is like, so people can compare.

 

Any suggestions of places to visit (preferably local hotspots rather than tourist traps or museums)?

When in Tirana, if you like the outdoors, go to mount Dajti, there is a tram (cable car) called Dajti Express that takes you there in just a few minutes. It's called "teleferik" in Albanian. Here's some more info from a blogger.

smiley

"The girl who leads the dancing keeps changing her dress, and I'm not sure why -- the first one was the prettiest anyway."

Keto udhetimet "antropologjike", kane filluar te ma shpifin. Seç kane njefare "ere" superioritet, nuk e di. Para ca kohesh, vete nje shqiptare ketu kishte bere ca pervoja "sociologjike" ku na tregonte si eshte raca shqiptare.

Tani ngrihet ky kanadezi, nje çante te palare ne shpine, floket me rrica nga ata te "no woman, no cry", dhe del per te zbuluar boten si Liza. Dhe rri duke bere zbulime te hatashme : wow ! gocat e Shqiperise qenkan te bukura ! (mos more !)

Ose : ne dasma kercehej shume, dhe muzika ishte e keqe. (Shiko shiko, qerratai).

Shkurt, ti Kanadez, shetit ne Shqiperi, mos fol shume, kthehu ne Kanada, mendohu, reflekto, matu mire, dhe pas nje pertypje mendimesh prej nje viti, ulu dhe shkruaj ndonje gje per te qene, sa vjen ketu duke hedhur xhevahire te tipit : uaaaa mami, po keta ngjakan me njerez !

Mind if i ask... was your friend married?Because they wouldn't understand in Albania if he were not... and he showed up in such an event accompanied by you...

you get the catch?

PS: are you married now smileymug: ? To whom? smileymug:

silly me smileysmileyoh: :nerd: smileyhh:

some good observations for someone left to guess, but you sound like such a prick...

Hey Steve, how long you staying in Albania for? I say, there's this canadian, or mabe english guy who visits albania like, 100 years ago and he writes down his impressions of the place and it sounds a lot like you. There's this tone of confussion and disbelief infused with a yearning to learn and discover some more.. Ill try and find it when I get back to my uni, but that wont be till end of sept.

 une do sygjeroja ta lexonit shkrimin me zerin e gekos se gaikos.. goxha me interesant..

Chene, te besh nje vrojtim te tille, eshte nje histori. Ne shume gjera tingellon tamam si Shqiperia sot. Dhe per kete jemi te gjithe dakord. Por deri atehere kur behet fjale per "vrojtim" ne kuptimin e mirefillte te fjales. Kur autori fillon e fut ne pune fantazine e vet, qe kete paskan dashur ta bejne dhender qe ndonje "hot albanian mama" te perfitonte ndonje vize, atehere nuk mendoj se e teprojme te themi qe ky djale qenka me te vertete ne dashuri me vetveten, dhe paska rene keq! Jo per gje, po te le te kuptosh se ka dhe pretendime...

Tani eshte shume kollaj te kalosh nga nje pershkrim real ne disa gjera qe mund te ofendojne nje lexues. Imagjinoje sikur kete shkrim ta lexonte vellai i ndonjeres nga ato qe ishin te pranishme...

this oaf is just too full of himself.

Hey, Steve, have fun and keep writing. As for your being confused, well, if you wanted everything nice and familiar, then you should have gone somewhere else. As it is, you wanted something different and it sounds to me that you are getting your money's worth over there. Whether we like it or not (as shown by the comments) this is what it looks like to you 'the average Joe' - meant in the best possible of ways - to be in Albania and that's the way it is.

P.S. I just assisted this weekend in a mixed Albanian-Canadian wedding here in Montreal, and let me tell you, it was quite the experience since the bride (Albanian) and the groom (Canadian) decided to do all rites from both sides to the letter. Boy, oh boy, do I need a vacation!  smiley...

Dear Steve,

I get the feeling that there is something amiss here. Please help me:

Who is accompanying you in this trip? Don't they offer explanations towards what you are seeing or the different types of tradition?

All of this guessing work from you is "a little" infuriating at times.

It was fun in the beginning, but it's starting to wear off now.

Get a good companion and you might just begin to understand a little of our way of life and guess what...you might not find us so "exotic" after all.

P.S. Not able to judge on the dresses, as there were no pictures smiley

P.P.S. Maybe you were taught enough Albanian to understand: nje mik qe te do te miren... smiley

 Zot, 

luk bradhamen, ai kud meik fan of ibaniks batis xhast a ueia laif.. kud get mi of dhe grin hook..reisist staf.. seim thing hier.. auei of life, iz aur kalcerel ibaniks da front of da 'sivellaized' uerlld.. shait thei' weding madell cam from gadfadha..

Zotrules: My friend is 45 and married -- he gets asked if I'm his son. Me? 23 days in Albania so far and I'm still free. I think I might make it!

Gre_wireless: Eh. First time for everything, I suppose.

Xhibi: I saw Dajt already, but only saw Tirana from the train station down to Skanderbeg's statue. We had dinner at a nice place they built from a mountain spring which now feeds a series of fish ponds with cascading waterfalls surrounded by tables built into the mountain.

As for a Canadian wedding...

Everyone is invited by a written invitation that specifies exactly who can come, whether they can bring a guest (+1), and the date by which they must RSVP. The wedding begins with a ceremony, often held at a church (even if the couple are not particulaly religious) or a centre (beachfront, converted old mansion, etc.) specifically designed to host special occasions. Most of the time, anyone is welcome to show up and attend the ceremony and aquaintances are often informally invited to do so, but it's considered very rude to show up to the reception (i.e. restaurant) uninvited.

People are seated by ushers upon arriving at the ceremony, with the friends and family of the bride and groom on either side of a centre aisle with the family at the front. The ushers are typically cousins or good friends of the groom, and it's considered a small honour to be asked to be one.

The ceremony varies somewhat, and take anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours. Sometimes the ushers light candles first, but the formal beginning of the ceremony is when the mothers (and grandmothers, if living) are escorted down the centre aisle to music, the groom's mother by her husband or son, and the bride's mother always by a son or close relative. Sometimes the mothers and/or grandmothers light candles together, symbolising the union of their families before sitting.

Then the wedding party enters, sometimes in pairs, and sometimes with the women alone with the men already lined up at the front. The wedding party consists of the best man (the groom's closest friend or brother) and maid of honour (the bride's closest friend or sister) and three or four pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen, who are all close friends or relatives. Typically there's also two small children, a flower girl who scatters flower petals down the asile before the bride enters, and a ring bearer who carries the rings. After the wedding party enters there's a pause, the music changes (often to a traditional "Wedding March"), and everyone stands as the bride enters escorted by her father, who walks her down the aisle where he lifts the veil covering her face (oh, she's also wearing a white dress, and the bridesmaids match each other in colourful dresses, to which the groomsmen are colour coordinated), kisses her, and hands her to the groom, who takes her hand and steps up the minister or judge, where they exchange vows (which might be traditional or self-written) where they swear to love and take care of each other forever. The judge/minister then pronounces them husband and wife, and everyone cheers. Then they sign the documents, to some backround music performed by talented friends, sometimes light more candles, and the judge/minister presents them to the gathered people as "Mr. and Mrs. ..." and everyone cheers as they exit together.

Of course, that wouldn't take two hours if done sensibly, but people often like to slow down their place in the spotlight, and they often throw in some music (either performed or everyone singing together) and, if they're religious, often a message from the minister as well. Once it's done, the couple will either stop at the exit and everyone greets them on the way out, or leave immediately to take pictures for a few hours (during which family and friends visit informally) before re-convening for the reception where they do the greeting.

Gifts aren't always just money (they're typically purchased from a "registry" at several stores which lists items which the couple would use to furnish their home), though this depends a great deal on the couple's ethnic background. Gifts are also given beforehand to the bride at "wedding showers" thrown on her behalf by close friends and aunts. Guests who are invited (women) are expected to give gifts at both the shower and the wedding, and the groom is expected to make a bried appearance at the end with flowers.

The reception begins with appetizers and drinks, usually served while the bride and groom are still taking pictures while guests visit. The reception is lead by the master of ceremonies, usually the friend who's best at talking (cough, me... 3 times...), with the bride's family and friends having pre-arranged where everyone will sit. Once the receiving line is finished (usually in a foyer outside the dinner room), the guests are seated at their tables, and the entire wedding party is announced by the MC, with the bridesmaids, groomsmen, best man, and maid of honour joining the couple at the head table. Dinner is served first, with stories and speeches. The best man, maid of honour, and mother and father of both the bride and groom are expected to make speeches, with brothers, sisters, and grandparents sometimes scheduled as well. The bride and groom make a speech as well, but this isn't until the formal end of the reception when only desserts and dancing will follow. Sometimes the mic is left open for anyone to say something, though this is becoming more rare since it can get boring.

After dinner, the cake is cut much like the Albanian style (no fireworks though) and served, though this is often done with a cake for show, with the real cake being served from a slab in the kitchen. Then the dancing starts, with the first dance always between the bride and her father to a song she has specially selected (these days it's often "Butterfly Kisses", which inevitably leads to the other girls softly complaining that they wanted that song saved especially for their own wedding). Sometimes this dance is scheduled earlier by itself, and sometimes additional dances (groom with his mother, pairs of the bridal party, etc.) occur as well. Once the first dances are out of the way, the real party starts. Dancing is to current hits mixed with a few old slow songs thrown in and the occasional Albanian-circle-like group number. Dessert sweets are made available on side tables and coffee, tea, and various alcoholic drinks are available, though the waiters will walk around offering only coffee -- anything else has to be ordered or picked up from the bar one's self. People drop out of the dancing to drink and grab a bite to eat more than Albanians seemed to. The dancing goes on until everyone can no longer stay awake or stand up, depending on the liveliness of the crowd. Though I've yet to see one that goes until breakfast.

Twintip: I'd love to read it, please do let me know.

Kristida: I agree, and I certainly am getting my money's worth. If I ever get snagged by one of these lovely Albanian ladies I'll have to give you a call.

Ujku: The guy I'm traveling with generally just goes with the flow, and I didn't have a chance to ask his English-speaking relatives at the wedding since the music was so loud. I'll get better explanations in the future, but this is my impression of the wedding itself from an outsider's perspective. Sorry, my Albanian hasn't progressed to sentences yet, though I think the word "good" is in there.

See, Albanians? Now that's what a real wedding should be like.

Live and learn people, live and learn.

Ok, now get to the point.

just write your heart out man, you've been knocking observations rights to the point!! but as a guest to both albanian and canadian weddings i must say, ours way more fun than canadians! dont u think?

Steave, find the meaning of "nallane" if you really want to know albania, it's A SERIOUS POINT...

Steve... is that right?

I was saying in albanian that I liked that you noticed the guests getting up and greeting the couple and their family before dancing to honor them. Dancing is paramount in albanian weddings and the more you dance me more respect you show to your host.

a few things:

about giving money at home: nothing prevented you for putting it in an envelope and accompanying it with a greeting card. call it a practicality of the times when most people were locals. Also, the bride was supposed to prepare her own "paje", so not much was left to buy. That money was supposed to help the family pay for the wedding.

the wedding and the legal ceremony are separate in Albania. You can have it at a church if you want, but mostly people get married at the municipality. Smth, like the courthouse here. When ppl talk about wedding in Albania, they usually mean the celebration that you witnessed. you have this in many other cultures... eg Turkey

the idea is to be plenty of food in the table, that's just how it is. The asians serve rice in the very end and you are supposed to be so full as not to eat it...

usually everything is paid by the organizers. It is unthought of in Albania to buy your own drink at a wedding. I was as surprised for the opposite happening in US.

usually ppl are less formal with each other and they know where everyone is supposed to sit. also, if you noticed the bulk of the guests are usually related family (not the uncle that you see once per chrismass, but someone you see almost all the time) and no where to go. Having said that, weddings in Albania are still considered a family event and most people there are family and close friends..

fireworks were a bonus at this wedding

the honking is smth that ppl have been doing for a long time, and some of us might have mixed feelings about it too.

i am hoping at least you enjoyed the dance. the money thrown is supposed to tip the band (or DJ in that case).

hope these help to understand better the whole experience..

continue having fun

perkthejani mre i cik , se ne knej sdime : dy martohen dyqind tërbohen

ene kjo i shpjego te gjitha smiley

bedrije, 'you smoke the joint and everybody gets high?' uk e di, me intereson dhe mu perkthimi smiley

 

dy martohen dyqind tërbohen

Two people marry, another two hundred are infected with the rabies! smiley

 

for every two people that get married, two hundred get drunkenly carried.

twintip,

sikur nuk ka kuptim kjo fjalia ne anglisht. Ka nevoje per ndonje ndajfolje per t'u plotesuar, por nuk ka te njejtin kuptim si shprehja ne shqip.

Ndoshta do te jete me mire te shohim per ndonje idiome ne anglisht qe mund t'i pershtatet me mire smiley

jam i sigurte ujk, se ka pershatatje te tjera me te mira se ajo qe i bera. perqendrimi ishte me teper tek rima ne perkthim se ne strukturen e gjuhes. hence edhe karakteri statistikor qe permend jerusalemi me siper.

 

but i do hope you dont expect my invitation to provide with one yourself smiley

Fton tjetrin ne dasem dhe te del dhe te perqesh e nxjerr faqen e zeze. Pfff, dore kalamajesh, bashke me ate qe e ka çuar atje...

One of the first questions I'm asked after being introduced is: "Are you married?". Is this question asked of everybody, or am I right to assume that it's mostly because I'm so devilishly handsome?

Don't worry, it's your irresistible beauty, they ask this question to me too and I'm Albanian! Let me explain to you the importance of marriage in the Albanian society (in the past): the economic difficulties that Albania experienced have made marriage necessary for the not economically self-sufficient girls(as it happened in your own country a few decades ago). A man can do hard manual labor, a woman can't. Having had only these role models in their life, the old generation continues pushing the young generations into marriage, but this is slowly changing.

 Secondly, honestly I don’t quite understand your skeptic point of view. I’ve been to some Canadian weddings and…a hell of a lot worse than Albanian weddings. I paid for my own alcoholic drinks(cash bar), I paid for presents which I didn’t even choose but was offered a wedding list, bad catering and I stood there 3h eating some cheap je ne sais pas quoi, listening to some f*cking standard cheesy music, saw the couple licking each-other while dancing I’ll always love youuuuuuu, danced one after another,saw the bride in three different dresses(once for the special dance for the groom-dio mios y todos los santos, the wedding dress she wore before the dance and then some gown for the father-daughter thing) and went home. Meanwhile, in an Albanian wedding, you pay a miserable amount of money as a gift, no wedding lists and you’d NEVER have to pay for your drinks.

Thirdly, have some respect for tradition. A wedding is some kind of ritual which is supposed to help people in their transition to a married life, life as a couple. Each country has its own traditions,...if you can't cope with them it's your problem, not the problem of the people who were so generous to invite you(and I don't think that your relatives would invite your Albanian friends to their wedding).

A wedding is some kind of ritual which is supposed to help people in their transition to a married life, life as a couple.

What? How?

 Ni Canuck natrrohet, 100 emigrant terbohen smiley 

Aq me teper kur di qe Canada vjen nga Kanata=Village!

ktu e ke ofendu shume ti rosee...ke parasysh sa patriote jane kto knej?
me shume se gjysmen e popullsise i ke kineze dhe indiane (pjesa tjeter mbizotrohet nga filipinas dhe sri lankans)

Ku kane shkuar anglezet, edhe epidemite nga mbrapa i kane ndjekur... per kete nuk ka faj Kanadaja.

Muhabeti nganjehere merr ca rrjedha qesharake... Stivi mund te jete shume mire shqiptar sa ne, thjesht ka "qejfin" te gumezhije ne gjuhe te huaj.

Fundja, Stivka ketu nuk perfaqeson gjithe Kanadane, dhe i lejohet t'i shprehe mendimet e tij si te kete qejf.

1 pyetje pa te keq:
pse del qe ky robi shkrun prej Kanade kur osht n'Shqypnie?

qeter, sa per ate vrejtjen e zhurmes e fishekzjarreve (kto kane lidhje), ka te drejte...ne e kena zhurmen shume qejf. Mgjte, mund te kish qene me keq:
mendo pak sikur te kishin dale robt me kallash ("paksa" te dehur)...ky kish me ja fut vrapit dhe nuk do e ndalte derisa te arrinte ne Kanade

 kallashi eshte pak i veshtire me e mbajt ne brez, une per vete heren e funit mbajta nje TT.. smiley 

"mendo pak sikur te kishin dale robt me kallash ("paksa" te dehur)...ky kish me ja fut vrapit dhe nuk do e ndalte derisa te arrinte ne Kanade"

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Steve, obviously you have to write from a point of mistery and as if you are alone and invisible during your travels to Albania, hence you don't know anything other than what you observe - that makes the writting more interesting and mysterious. smiley But, some culural context maybe needed though, at least after you've created the suspense, or else it's incomplete. For example, everyone is in everyone else's business in Albania (and Balkans in general). If you have that in mind--and write it after you've expressed the wonder about all the questions and the proposals you've gotten--than it's kinda understandable why these people are asking you if you're married, how come you're not married yet, how much money you make, etc. And that's sort of part of a writer's/observer's integrity I think, otherwise you're just pulling a fast one on your readers.

I think this is the reason for which you're getting some not so fond-of-your-writtings comments. smiley

 

Ai shkruan qellimisht sikur s'di gje fare ca behet, se ashtu do ta beje shkrimin qe te tingelloje me misterioz dhe egzotik, juve i thuani pse te kane lene vete dhe nuk te shpjegon njeri. smiley

Gjithsesi, ky sugjerimi i ketij kamunistit ameriqen eshte shume funny

une do sygjeroja ta lexonit shkrimin me zerin e gekos se gaikos.. goxha me interesant..

smiley

The reason is because someeee people look to find fault with his writing when actually all his stuff is excellent excellent excellent!!!

"""We place money on a tray -- no cards or envelops required -- and head outside to visit while others take our place inside the house before we all head to the restaurant."""

"""One of the first questions I'm asked after being introduced is: "Are you married?". Is this question asked of everybody, or am I right to assume that it's mostly because I'm so devilishly handsome?"""

hahahahaha so totally true

Steve,>>

> >

> >Visiting and trying to understand a foreign country, you really get a grasp, how universal human emotions can be; however, you also see, how much culture observe, how you deal with those wedding emotions, etc.>>

> >

We all get angry, we all get sad, we all get worried, we all love our family, we all love our traditions and we all want some happiness in our lives. How do we deal with these things? How do we find these things? All these are questions answered largely in terms of culture.

Being there and giving your opinion about Albanian lifestyle, is an exercise in the age-old line of walking in another person’s shoes. No matter what you do there, you're still a Canadian, and you’re going, at least somewhere deep down, from a Canadian life-style. You judge, you react, you analyze, you criticize from a Canadian life-style, but you're learning to make room for alternative ways of reasoning. If we all share something deeper than culture in common, namely the “human condition,” there has to be a way to understand each -other. Yes, you are a Canadian, but before you are so, you are human being. Existence came before nations, and certainly Albania and Canada.

>>

With my full respect,

turi.

 >>

Shume bukur e ke thene, Turi. Bashkohem me ty.

As for Steve, try to take some pics to go with your writings, it would be nice to see them smiley.

Hahahaha! Ia paske gjet fiks lol

 O Rubineto, ta shpjegova edhe me perpara punen e ketij kanadezit, por ti je si Shaban Qosja, qe nuk te rrihet po nuk ta kapen pak hunden.

Shkrimi nuk vjen "era" superioritet, po je ti qe vjen "era" katunar, dhe qe je gati ti ngrefosesh kujtdo qe hyn ne fshatin tuaj sepse ai nuk iu flet (zakonisht sepse nuk iu njeh), sepse ai sesi na i pa vajzat tona, dhe sepse po na shet tangarllek. Tamam tamam nuk e dime se ku po e shet, por eshte e sigurte qe tangarllek ka, dhe perderisa ka me siguri edhe e shet. Kjo me bente vaki shume shpesh ne vizitat e mia ne veri te vendit, sidomos ne Tropoje, kur nga mesi i asgjekundit dilte njeri qe perpiqej te trashte zerin e te pyeste: "He, pse je tue m'pa ashtu?" Te perpiqeshe ti shpjegoje se nuk po shikoje ate, ishte kohe e humbur. Cdo perpjekje per t'u justifikuar ishte "bjerrje burrnie" dhe tjetri fillonte te ngrefej gjithnje e me shume. Ndaj pa i kthyer pergjigje, prisja per ate vendasin qe me solli deri aty qe te merrej me te, duke mallkuar diten qe u ngjita ne ato skerka.

Pastaj kush te tha te qe

"ky kanadezi, nje çante te palare ne shpine, floket me rrica nga ata te "no woman, no cry", dhe del per te zbuluar boten si Liza."

Ky eshte nje cun irish bjond , i gjate, me floke te shkurtra dhe dicka pertej qimes por perpara mjekrres qe i behet kacurrel ne fytyre, i lare dhe maniak qe sipas stilit kanadez nuk do te mbaje asnje lloj ere, me gjyslyke, qe i ftuar nga nje mik i tij shqiptar ( qe meqe ra llafi eshte dy here ne moshe sa ai) shon te shikoje nje lagje tjeter te botes. Pa e ditur qe aty e pret hurbineku me hu ne dore se ka frike mos i merr te vluaren e zemres...

Eh mer Rubinet! Si thote ajo fjala e urte franceze qe e ka thene Sartre. 

Ti mund ta nxjerresh nje kukesian nga Kukesi, por ti s'ke per ta nxjerre kurre Kukesin prej kuksianit!

I Love You

Je t'aime!

L)

qe i ftuar nga nje mik i tij shqiptar ( qe meqe ra llafi eshte dy here ne moshe sa ai) shon te shikoje nje lagje tjeter te botes. Pa e ditur qe aty e pret hurbineku me hu ne dore se ka frike mos i merr te vluaren e zemres...

Eh mer Rubinet! Si thote ajo fjala e urte franceze qe e ka thene Sartre. 

Ti mund ta nxjerresh nje kukesian nga Kukesi, por ti s'ke per ta nxjerre kurre Kukesin prej kuksianit!

I Love You

Je t'aime!

Loser

 

Nashti mos e shaj nga qyteti dhe ti, shaje nga personaliteti. smiley Gjithsesi kjo qe the eshte funny. smiley

Edhe per rradaken teme ai flet nga pozita superioriteti...kuptohet nuk thote si teta Ollga "kan shitur gomeret e kan blere bicikleta" ,por duket qe pjerrtas e shef terrenin knej

Se anej nga ne terreni eshte shume i drejte...

E shofim ne qe jena lind e rrit atje shtremet fare, jo mo robi qe ska pa kshu gjonash me sy po boll e shate kot.

Ka qene nje skec i Fierit kur ishte fushata Al Gore-Bush. Edhe shqiptaret u perfshine ne tifozllikun e njeres pale ose tjetres.Dy fshesagjinj gabel (ndjes per termin) po debatonin: "me ke thene bythzi, te kam thene gje un,por ti te guxosh e te me shash Al Gorin mua"

S'u dashka me guxu me ba noj kritike (jo me e sha)kanadezin tuj

Une  e lexova gabimisht "këndezin"

Kritika duhet te kete baze. Nuk mund ta quash te huajin negativ kur ai nuk po shan por po pershkruan ato gjera qe sheh te cilat me duket sikur jane shumica mjerane. I shof une mjerane qe jam rritur ne ate mjedis, jo me ai. Dhe ketu vjen puna per mbrojtjen e kanadezit tim te dashur, kritika te kete ca kripe smiley

shpresoj qe t'mos bajn syte tekacift sepse gjana me kripe ktu te peshku ka sa te dush, (pranej edhe rrime ktu) keshtu qe mos hum kohen tane te cmume me u marr me t'pakripmet e mija

Po mos e merr kaq seriozisht, o Pjeter se nuk e kam me te keqe. Plus, po e humba kohen, le ta humb me gjera qe te argetojne smiley. Hajde gjithe te mirat!

kalo mire dhe ti. Lum si ju qe jeni n'Kanada. Une i here vit qe bi n'tiranr vesh rrob t'reja e i sillem rrotull kalit si Gjini ke "plage te vjetra" (edhe ai knej ka jam une ka qene) 

Nuk e di pse merr si shembull vendlindjen time .. d ailleurs, tu sais quoi, je ne t'aime pas, je ne te deteste pas, simplement je ne resents rien di tout..

S'e kuptova pse i fute kuksianet ne kete mes?!

Apo fundja... nje cope katnari je edhe ti?! Aq katnar sa per te mos kuptuar se nuk eshte mire te pergjithesosh?!

Enjoyed this piece!

Mire qe lexova komentin tat te fundit PF, se ndryshe do me kishte shpetu ky pershkrimi.

Ols. Kukesianin e futa se eshte kostum i pre me mase per nje njeri te caktuar, dhe nuk eshte one size fits all. Dhe i zoti e merr vesh ku e kam llafin.

Emo, ketu nuk ka ndonje talent te madh, por eshte pak a shume si letra e asaj vogelushes. Ky cuni, (mik i mikut) mu lut ti jepja ndonje sugjerim se cfare te bente e ku te shkonte. E mua me ra ne mend PPU e i thashe qe nuk do te te jap nje por a whole bunch. Dhe gjithshka funksionoi per bukuri dhe ky kanadazi nuk pretendon asgje me shume me shkrimet e tij se te zere ca miq. Por ja qe papritmas na i del Mister Karotou me qenin e tij Kape-Mbaje dhe duke i vene ne balle Gypin e Sqarim-Dyshimit ( e mban mend Cipolinon apo jo) e pyet me nje ze te trashe: "He, pse je tue m'pau ashtu". Dhe ai i shkreti nuk di as ti pergjigjet...

kjo fjalia qe the per Kuksin nuk ka pike kuptimi ne lidhje me shkrimin tend! Meqe nuk mirret vesh se ku e kishe llafin, dhe ti je i zoti i asaj fjalie, atehere pse nuk e shpjegon? Se asaj fjalie mund ti jepen shume kuptime sipas interesit te folesit. ska ktu te djeg bytha e kruen faqen ...fol drejt dhe jo me sponde

eh mer someone, c'te ben kuksi s'ta ben as perendija!

kete e di nga nje miku im qe e "kishin hedhur" ne Kukes mbas mbarimit te shkolles, ne koherat kur punen ta gjente shteti dhe kur nuk guxoje te thoshe "jo". E di c'mund te bejne tonelata konjak per neuronet dhe melcine? edhe zeee-mre-neee... do vazhdonte mentor xhemali.

une personalisht e kam shijuar bajagi kohen ne Kukes, sepse koha ime ne kukes perkthehej me inkursione te Kroi i Bardhe (e di besoj se nga bie, eshte andej nga vendet ku dikush shkruante "hyni, po s'mbajme pergjegjsi se c'mund t'ju ndodhe" dhe nenshkruante "juaji, Paji Harambash&quotsmiley dhe me mbremje vertet te bukura qe fillonin te Zabeli dhe mbaronin te Turizmi - ketu duke kundruar estetikisht nje kamariere vertet shume terheqse dhe drite te paster.

Me nje llaf, mos e merrni kaq perpjekur. Ja mua psh me duket sikur ne ate linje te PF ka me shume dashuri per Kukesin se sa ne 100 komente te gafurrura populiste gjoksrrahese vetullangrysura rreshtagermushura...

 

Gjynaf cuni kanadez, zeri ndonje goce te lezetshme te ndjehet me mire smiley

PF, sqarimin bere mire qe e bere por as te merakosesh mos u merakos se fakti qe u bene me shume se 50 pergjigje, po ben buje tjetri dhe e percolli ate qe donte, te pakten ne disa. Une per vete, mezi po pres shkrimin tjeter, te kenaqemi icik with descriptions from fresh, prejudiced eyes smiley

mos e traj capin hic kanadezo. shume i sakte ke qene dhe i ekuilibruar.

ne ketej "jashte shtetit" na duket vetja sikur kemi marre persiper mbrojtjen e "nerit" te katunit.

mos harro te hash shume kanadezo. gjej ushqime lokale (nuk i gjen kudo) e mos ua harro shijen.

Freespirit: I don't know, really. I greatly appreciated not having to sit through a dull ceremony (though I'll admit to liking the entrances and exits), and I was delighted that there were no speeches, but the music was terribly loud and not particularly catchy -- an important point for someone who doesn't know the song or language. I think you're right that the Albanian version is better, but I'd really prefer a hybrid of the two models.

Gre_wireless: Thanks for taking the time to explain all that.  The fact that dancing honours the host explains quite a bit, actually. The lack of cards is something I approve of wholeheartedly (hate the things).  The lack of envelopes threw me off at first (it would be considered untactful by Canadian rules), but I think I like the straightforward simplicity of it.  I'm still not sure about the guests though: do only the groom's family visit at the home and give money to help pay for the wedding?  And when does the legal ceremony happen? And, just to clarify, I had a wonderful time and would gladly attend another Albanian wedding (though I might bring earplugs).

La_rosee: I dunno, it seemed to me that quite a few of the village women I met could more than manage to do pretty much any manual labour necessary. Based only on their biceps, I'd venture to guess that it's less of a physical inability than a social one. As for the wedding, I'm not at all skeptical at all (with the exception of the music's volume).  I had a great time, and, while I've never attended a Canadian wedding such as you described (I simply don't go if I expect something of the sort), I can certainly imagine it happening exactly that way. Finally, where on earth in my post did I not respect tradition?  I greatly appreciated the sense of history there -- I just didn't understand it.

Xhibi: That "everyone in everyone's business" approach is something that really threw me for a loop, particularly since I grew up in an impersonal metropolitan centre.  I kind of like it though, it's very direct and the people are always seem sincere.

Turi: You're absolutely right.

Tekacift: Other posts have had pictures, and I probably could have taken some at the wedding, but I didn't feel right taking pictures as a tourist among those taking pictures out of love and  happiness. I don't know, maybe I should have.

My dear canuck... English, obviously is not your mother tongue. Is Albanian a language you can write and better express yourself with? Duly noted from your last comment.

 ha,ha,ha, para se te iki. Kesaj i thone te behesh me katolik se Papa. Zotrules i ke rene pikes. Mamaja e ketij cunit eshte irish ndersa ky vete eshte lindur, rritur, shkolluar e universituar ne Kanada ku flitet vetem kanadisht, dhe ben sikur di anglisht mire vetem per pordhe. smiley)

You made my day. Good night and good luck.

E shikon tani se kush i ben postimet ne emer te tij ngaqe ai nuk di shqip. Kjo mbase i pergjigjet edhe pyetjes se njerit ketu qe pyeti sepse postimet kane flamur kanadez.

Canucko, e talle trapin sa deshe ketu. Pergjigja nga shqipet ketu eshte dhene gjithsesi, duke patur gjithmone parasysh se artikullin mund ta kete shkruar nje i huaj.

Ti si shqiptar, mundet fare kollaj te kishte shprehur shqetesimin tend pse dasmat ne Shqiperi kane dale jashte tradites dhe ngjajne me shume me ca kopje te keqia, si puna e atij mallit kinez, qe po nuk e bleve déjà te prishur, e ke te vdekur qe do te te prishet brenda dites.

Mund te kishe shprehur shqetesimin pse shume shqiptare neper dasma degjojne dhe luajne me volumin me te madh te mundshem lloj soj kengesh gabelesh, magjypsh dhe jevgjish... Shume tradita ne Shqiperi kane ndryshuar, duam apo s'duam ne, te pakten nuk ndiqen ashtu si duhet. Eshte per te ardhur keq, qe te duash demek te besh dasem shqiptare, dhe "ta blesh ne dyqan kinezi". Psh, ato pjatat e ftohta qe permende, eshte turp, sepse dasmat qe beheshin dikur, edhe ne kohen kur ishim shume me te varfer,- ne diktature, nuk ishin te tilla si keto te sotmet. Kjo nuk eshte per shkak se njerezit nuk kane leke; por, sic na mesojne dhe telenovelat e famshme amerikanojugore, pa te cilat nuk do te dinim si te jetonim, kur punen mund ta beje tjetri, pse ta besh vete.

keto me siper edhe do i kishim pranuar.

Nejse, peshkun e terhoqe per hunde sa pate mundesi.

 Zotrules, edhe nga diskutimi per Aferditen me duket se je rasti tipik i njeriut qe nderton teori konspiracioni dhe pastaj behet vete preja e pare e tyre. Meqe bere aludimin se kanadezi nuk di anglisht, thashe mos te ta prishja, aq me teper qe aludimi yt mes e kuptova ishte qe isha une qe beja si turist kanadez.

E vetmja gje qe une bej eshte qe postoj me llogarine e tij per aresye teknike. Ashtu si ne fillim, per sa kohe nuk i ishte dhene nje nik i nxirrja ne emrin tim. Seriozisht Zotrules, perpiqu ta marresh boten aq te thjeshte sa eshte dhe mos e shpenzo gjysmen e jetes duke ndertuar modele me te komplikuara se realiteti dhe gjysmen tjeter per t'i zgjidhur ato.

PF, te gjitha sa ke shkruar, ja ke futur kot. Ne fakt, emri jot asqe me ka shkuar ne mendje fare. Une nisem gjithmone me idene qe ai qe shkruan shkruan nga emri i vet, dhe jo ngaterresa te tilla llogarish, si ben zotrote... Mesa duket, ti vetem aludime di te besh; ndoshta vuan nga ndonje cregullsi psikologjike, qe sipas teje, gjithkush duhet te flase vetem me ty, vetem per ty, dhe ti duhet te jesh strumbullari i cdo diskutimi, perndryshe peshku nuk do kishte kuptim, dhe ne te tjeret do ishim thjesht budallenj qe mbushim faqet me te shkruar. Une te bej nje ftese te thjeshte qe te shohesh realitetin ne sy, qe te kuptosh se kjo bote ka njerez te tjere pervec teje, ka ne fakt shume shume njerez te tjere, mbi 6 miljard, pervec teje, dhe mbushja mendjen vetes qe ne te tjeret, pavaresisht sa budallenj te te dukemi, nganjehere duhet te lejohemi edhe te flasim/dialogojme dhe me persona te ndryshem nga ty.

Diskutimi per Aferditen, i dashur PF, vazhdoi deri ne momentin kur ti tregove deshtim te plote ne zbatimin e nje rregulli te njejte dy teorive te ndryshme; ndoshta ke deficit ne gjuhen shqipe, nuk e di, por per aresyen qe shpreha mesiper deshtoi.

PS: nuk kam aluduar gjekundi qe kanadezi nuk di anglisht, dhe as nuk jam shprehur gjekundi ashtu. - si thashe me siper, gjithshka eshte ne mendjen tende.

PS2: si thashe me siper, nuk aludova gjekundi qe ishe ti qe beje si turist kanadez. ne fakt, te me falni per mungesen e respektit shkelqesia juaj, por me sinqeritet, as nuk me shkoi mendja qe ju egzistonit ne momentin kur po shkruaja ato komente.

gjithsha perseri eshte ne mendjen tende.

PS3: pergjigja nuk iu dha kot atij komentit nga "shoku canuck", dhe qe te jemi brenda muhabetit, une ja ve vulen perseri asaj qe kam shkruar. Nese kanadezi ka ndonje verejtje, jam i gatshem t'ja tregoj difektet ne anglisht.

Ok zotrules. Ndjese per keqkuptimin dhe e mbyllim kete muhabet se u be boze!

 he had to be ginger! smiley Love my ginger mates! smiley 

 

Zot,

cke? no bigi, sosht nga fshati jot, po osht nga ai perball! Me then te drejten do me pelqente te lexoja me shume observime nga autori. Pak rendesi ka interpretimi..

ah kjo perkatesia fshaturore na ka marre ne qafe gjith jeten smiley

nevoja bedrije nevoja smiley lidhen gjonat, nuset merren/jepen nga/ne fshati/n perball pshemell.. smiley   

 t'kish thone qyn fillim qe vite nga fshati perball, jo nuse do kish marr me vete po dhe pajen bashk..

E kisha nje bindje Pf , qe do e gjeje i rruge me hik ! smiley

My dear "canuck"... English, obviously is not your mother tongue. Is Albanian a language you can write and better express yourself with? Duly noted from your last comment.

Pikerisht! Te njejten gje vura re dhe une.S'kuptoj se sa vlere ka te diskutosh me nje shqiptar qe nxjerr veten si kanadez ne nje udhetim imagjinar ne Shqiperi. Sdq, 5 yje per fantazine. Uroj qe te pakten nje pjese e saje te kete qene e bazuar ne realitet.

Au revoir!

e sqaroi pra mo qe 'the real canadian" ja ka nis PF (real only by the icon next to his nick) dhe ky ja ka postu ktu per arsye teknike...kaq.

Une e bona ket pytje mo lart po nuk m'ktheu njeri xhevap. Pytja ishte per nji arsye te vetme; qe ky, robi postoi dicka te tille si, "finally I have my own acct. te PPU..."

Hej, o Zotrules ky PF ta ka me t'fut, he is one dodgy guy, ki kujdes.

e kam fjalen se ka dicka qe nuk shkon ne kte mes, there's more to this guy.. duhet hetuar me syrin e detektivit.

there's more than pickles and curds???... well, i'll enjoy what i have at the moment.

ah; as long as i have the must-have lubricant called Raki... i'm good to go.

im glad you took that the right way. po pate edhe nanje bisht peshku te skuqur, aaa, e vetmja qe mungon pastaj eshte nanje gol ne porte te danimarkes. do thuash ti, c'e do.. po kot e burre kshtu per fiksim. smiley

Danimarka do i rrahe me shpulla si kurvat ata "tanet"... futbolli dhe politika ne Shqiperi kane nje emerues te perbashket, te pazevendesueshem. besoj se e merr vesh ku e kam fjalen.

them se po.

 

une po ikja ta shihja tek shpija e njerit ktu, ky m'thot tani, "une do shoh angline se skam ndermend me acarruar nervat kot me kombetaren".

Po kanadezi pra mo i ka shkruar se nuk i ben ato lojera PF, sikur s'ka ca te beje ai dhe do ju shese mend juve si kanadez, medemek qe paska mesuar anglisht. smiley

O komrado, qiti resmen ketyre, nr e kepuces, dhe emrin e ndonjeres me te cilen ke flirtuar, se jemi popull shume speptik ne nga natyra. smiley

isha me nja 3 te punes ktu nji dite dhe njoni ishte serb.
I skjarum kto jo-ballkanasit se historikisht, e kena urry dhe vazhdojme ta urrejme njoni-tjetrin dhe e kena tregu me pushke ket gjo. Pyti njoni prej ktyne:
- po kur nuk luftoni njoni-tjetrin, c'a boni?

Ktu ishim prap me nji mendje:
vrasim mendjen me gjet shkak per nji sherr te ri...

Kshu eshte dhe kjo puna jone ktu; t'u gjet shkaqe me u gafurr kot.

p.s. I lead by example at times...prova qe jom shqiptar 100%

mos u ngatarro me stilin tim te t'shkrujtmit se nuk ka spital qe t'merr n'dorzim!

Për të komentuar tek Peshku pa ujë, ju duhet të identifikoheni ose të regjistroheni (regjistrimi është falas).